AN 9:17 Families

Many people are concerned about how to act around monks. This sutta from the Anguttara Nikaya (Numerical Discourses) explains good behaviour on the part of lay disciples. We may not have monks visit our homes, but we can still apply the principles to our interactions with monastics.

“Mendicants, visiting a family with nine factors is not worthwhile, or if you’ve already arrived, sitting down is not worthwhile. What nine?

  1. They don’t politely rise.
  2. They don’t politely bow.
  3. They don’t politely offer a seat.
  4. They hide what they have.
  5. Even when they have much they give little.
  6. Even when they have refined things they give coarse things.
  7. They give carelessly, not carefully.
  8. They don’t sit nearby to listen to the teachings.
  9. When you’re speaking, they don’t listen well.

Visiting a family with these nine factors is not worthwhile, or if you’ve already arrived, sitting down is not worthwhile.

Visiting a family with nine factors is worthwhile, or if you’ve already arrived, sitting down is worthwhile. What nine?

  1. They politely rise.
  2. They politely bow.
  3. They politely offer a seat.
  4. They don’t hide what they have.
  5. When they have much they give much.
  6. When they have refined things they give refined things.
  7. They give carefully, not carelessly.
  8. They sit nearby to listen to the teachings.
  9. When you’re speaking, they listen well.

Visiting a family with these nine factors is worthwhile, or if you’ve already arrived, sitting down is worthwhile.”

Based on a translation for SuttaCentral by Bhikkhu Sujato, 2018. Dedicated to the public domain via Creative Commons Zero (CC0).

Index

9 Buddha Qualities, abandon suffering, alms round, anger, animal world, anuttaropurisadammasarati quality, araham quality, Aṅgulimāla Arahant, bad association, bhagava quality, body meditation, buddhanussati meditation, Buddhist etiquette, chanting, compassion, confidence~saddhā, contentment, courage, craving, Culla Kammavibhanga Sutta, cutupapatanana, death, Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta, evil deeds, first noble truth, five precepts, Four Noble Truths, friendship, ghost world, giving~dāna, good actions, gratitude, greed, guided meditation, hatred, heaven, hell, iddhi, ignorance, impermanence~anicca, intoxicants, jataka, jealousy, karma, kavi, life of Buddha, lokavidu quality, losing loved ones, loss, loving-kindness~mettā, Maha Satipatthana Sutta, Mangala Sutta, marks of a great man, meditation, merit~puññā, mindfulness~sati, mora paritta, mother, nibbāna, Noble Eightfold Path, noble truth of suffering, non-attachment, ordination, origin of suffering, parents, paritta, patience, pilgrimage, practice, precepts, psychic powers, pujas, punishment, Pāli, rains retreat, relics, retreat, right speech, right view, Sakka God, sammasambuddho quality, samsara, Sangha, Second Noble Truth, Sri Lanka, stress, Sāriputta Arahant, Taking advice, Therigatha, Third Noble Truth, uposatha, Venerable Maha Moggalana, Vesak, vijja, vijjacaranasampanno quality, virtue~sīla, wisdom, Work, worldly conditions, wrong view